Random Scubalon

I know you have been anxiously waiting for me to dust off the old overrated/underrated computer and evaluate some of the most pressing issues/personalities/trivialities of our times.  Please remember these rankings are done w/o personal bias or any animous.  They are scientifically verifiable, and you should not try them at home.  So, for now – ON WITH THE RANKINGS!

First up:

The movie Alien vs. Predator – Overrated.  When a movie basically tells you who wins in the title, it will always end up being overrated no matter how lowly it was rated to begin with.  Here’s the thing, Predator went into the jungle and fought two governors and Apollo Creed.  Now to make things worse one of those governors was Arnold, and Predator gave the former Mr. Olympia all he could handle in what was essentially a road game for the Predator (he also gets bonus points for the cool dreads).  So, what did Alien ever do?  Had its foe severly outnumbered playing only home games and gets its butt repeatedly kicked by a chick?  Please!  Pathetic.

Criminal Minds – Underrated.  This is simply the best show on television.  If you watch television and you don’t watch this show you should have your cable cancelled and broadcast channels blocked from your TV and be left to watch PBS until you learn to appreciate true entertainment.

New England Patriot quarterback Tom Brady – In what is a first in the long history of underrated/overrated we have a new designation – rated.  Mr. Brady is a truly exceptional athelete that has made spectacular plays for his team.  He should be ranked right where he is as the second best quarterback playing football today (For my friend Richard just so you know every GM in the game would take Manning over Brady just like they did in the draft).  If Brady were to retire now I know he is a first ballott HOFer and they should be dusting off a place for him in Canton right now.

Reality Television – Overrated.  Let me be honest – all reality television stinks! (Again, not my opinion, science at work here people.)  Some of you may protest that most of it stinks but that there are good shows.  You are clearly wrong.  Most of these shows have people of questionable morals competing for large amounts of cash that they haven’t worked for, all the while lying, cheating and stabbing each other in the back.  We have a name for people who do that – Congressmen.  So, I don’t care if they are surviving, Idoling, big brothering, or amazing racing (or whatever else) ~ just go away and take your smarmy, diminutive hosts with you (and please don’t run all-star or celebrity versions of your stupid shows)!

Gas Grills – Overrated.  This pains me to say this because I love the convenience of the gas grill, but stuff cooked over an open fire made up of coals, or hickory wood just tastes better.  I will continue to use gas grills, but I will know that if I worked harder I could have a better tasting steak.

Captiol City Chorus – Underrated.  Some of you think that because my wife sings in this chorus that I am just saying this to stay in her good graces.  You know, some of you are very cynical and I think you should get professional help for this problem.  The science says they are the number 10 rated female barbershop chorus in the world, and I’ve heard some of the competition . . . CCC should be ranked higher!  If you are in the Indy area I recommend you catch one of their shows!  It’s a good time!

That’s it for this episode of overrated/underrated.  Tell me what you think (not that it will matter, because the rankings cannot be questioned).