Random Scubalon

I have recently received two offers to join a fantasy football league.  I have never been a part of fantasy football although I hear it is lots of fun.  A lot of times the reasoning goes like this “Tony, you’ve got to play FF because it gives you a reason to watch that miserable MNF match-up between the Bears and the Packers.”  OK, here’s the thing, I don’t need a reason to watch that game, because as my wife can attest I’m going to watch it until the end because I love watching NFL football!!  To be honest I’m going to watch it even if it is a pre-season game.  However, seeing how two of my favorite guys that graduated wearing pink tassels (on their mortar boards) have asked me to join their respective leagues I am declaring myself a Fantasy Football Free Agent.   So, anybody that has a league that thinks I should join it you are free to sign me.  I need to have a compelling reason to join the ranks of the Fantasy Footballers, and I need to know why yours is the league for me (also, a signing bonus won’t hurt).  So, much like all of the Colts draft picks I am unsigned and waiting for an offer.  Training camp is right around the corner so don’t wait to long.

Because people all over the world are checking out overrated/underrated and people are begging for more I have fired up the O/U computers to weigh in again.  For those of you that are signing on from parts far-flung this is the local version of O/U, so it may not be as relevent to you as other O/U posts are, but don’t worry you will still be able to learn from it.

Daylight Savings Time - Underrated.  This is a new thing here in Indiana that we are changing time with the rest of the country, and I gotta tell you - It’s great.  More time for golf, more time for every outdoor activity after work - I love it!!  Now, here is a benefit that many Hoosier sports fans may not have thought about.  For 1/2 of the NFL season, the Colts kicked off their games at noon local time, so Colts fans who attended church were forced to miss most of the 1st quarter on their way home.  Now, they will all kick off at 1:00 pm at the earliest.  So, more golf, more soccer, more fishing, and MORE FOOTBALL!!!!

Gov. Mitch Daniels - Underrated. Here’s the situation… when “My man Mitch” came into office, the state was in the red (after previous Goveners Bayh and O’Bannon had been given a $4 billion surplus), manufacturing jobs were racing each other out of the state, and the Colts were talking about leavng.  Now, we are two years in, the state is back in black (cue AC/DC music), 3 major plants have announced they are moving here this year, and once Mitch kicked the worthless Indy mayor out of the negotiations a tremendous new stadium is going up with major expansions to the convention center, which will put Indy on great footing for years to come and keeps the Colts here in Indiana.  Now his idea of “major moves” still has the jury out, but so far it looks good. Oh, and by the way, it was his idea to put us on DST.  Even if you are a democrat you have to give it up to Mitch.

Indiana Department of Natural Resources - Underrated.  Here are the facts: 

(1) They have brought the American Bald Eagle population in Indiana back from near extinction to over 200 eagles in just 15 years.  Many of the eagles are not mature enough to mate yet, but when they are eagle sightings in Indiana will likely be a common occurance. 

 (2) State Parks are in much improved shape since the early 90’s with ample areas for hunting/boating/fishing and recreation for non-hunters (i.e. -  pot-smoking hippies). 

(3) The deer population in  this state is thriving.  I personally saw 3 TROPHY bucks this past hunting season and quite a few doe.  Hunters I’ve talked to around the state have told me the same thing.  Now before the peanut gallery starts talking about just seeing the bucks - Two of them I did not have a shot on, and I missed the third one (I’m still kicking myself about that one).  Furthermore, I plan on taking the deer population in Indiana down by at least two deer this year (one with a bow, one with a shotgun, and maybe a third with a chevy), and anyone who wants to sound-off about my hunting may wake up next to a deer head (cue Godfather music).

Indianapolis Mayor Bart Peterson - Overrated.  OK, this is the deal, as mayor your first job is to control crime, and crime is out of control.  I agree he inherited the jail overcrowding thing, but he has had 6 years to solve it and nothing has happened.  We are letting criminals out of jail because we have no room for them and we wonder why crime is on the rise?  Hey, I don’t care where you put them, but you don’t sit by while child molesters are being set free to hurt more children.  You can keep your neighborhood clean-up projects and tree planting charades and fix this problem!!  You say the city is too broke to fix it?  Well, you can get tents at Wal-mart for under $100 dollars and you have plenty of unused land at the old Central state hospital site - figure it out.

Sr. Indiana Senator Richard Lugar - Overrated.  This is all I have to say - I’m gonna have to close my nostrils with quick-dry cement to vote for this dude.  Oh, how I wish I didn’t have watch this guy sell out conservative principles for another 6 years.

Jr. Indiana Senator Evan Bayh  - Overrated.  Read the above post about squandering $4 billion dollars and watching companies pull out of here on his watch and ask yourselves if you really want this guy sitting first or second chair in the national executive branch.  The only way he and his lackey O’bannon could even come close to making budget was by not making payments to the schools that they were supposed to make (Oh, and Mitch has us so much in the black that the schools are getting this money).  Yeah, education - that’s not important.  He let the prison system swirl out of control so that in most Indiana youth centers the kids were at the mercy of really bad people (the stories are horrendous).  If you are outside of Indiana please make sure this dude doesn’t become our next president.

That’s the latest version of overrated/underrated.  Don’t forget, you can suggest topics of things you need to have rated.  Until next time, adios.

OK, it’s time that I started taking on some imortant issues in order to make it easier on our elected officials.  So, please, send this to all the elected officials you know, or for whom you have cast votes.

Here is the abstract of the Increditony Doctrine -

Evil leaders/states do not get sanctions for misbehaving or incentives to act as we want them to act.  They get bullets and missiles if they don’t behave.

Or, to put it in a sentence… it should stink to be an enemy of the United States of America, but absolutley cool to be our friend. 

Many of you may react saying that we can’t just project our military power all over the world.  That we need to engage our enemies and exhaust all diplomatic options first before we start dropping the bombs.  OK, I hear you, but this is what you don’t understand - You can’t engage evil- you can only kill evil-doers. If tin-horn dictators have nothing to fear they will continue to push the envelope of evil.  However, if they know that pushing the USA is the quickest way to sure death they will pick on someone else.  Allow me to give you two very recent case studies.  One of these shows you what happens when we act like Americans and the other shows what happens when we act like Europeans.

Case Study #1 - Iraq and Libya

The USA decides it’s time to get rid of Saddam.  We take our considerable military might to rid the world of a source of constant evil and to neuter the evil that the UN could do in the modern world.  In the meantime Qadaffi is sitting down in Libya saying, “Well, after 9/11 I expected them to go to Afghanistan, but they are serious about getting rid of the people who are causing trouble.  Hey, I’m a guy that causes trouble.  I’d rather not hide in a spider hole and then watch my sons killed and then go to trial for my crimes.  I know what - I’ll give up my WMD and WMD programs, and maybe I won’t be killed.”  You see when these jerks have reason to fear they get really reasonable.

Case study #2 - Iran and North Korea

Iran decides to hold the world hostage with its nuclear program.  Instead of going all Israeli on their backsides (remember the only reason Saddam didn’t have nukes is that Israel blew up the program) we decided to go all France on them.  That’s right we gave them incentives to not continue to go nuclear (BTW - Why does a nation that is sitting on an ocean of oil need nuclear energy?).  So, Lil’ Kim over in N. Korea actually talks to MuhIsoneedtokilledajan and he decides to fire some rockets to get people to offer him incentives too.  Of course it doesn’t help that he had already tricked Clinton/Albright et al to give him nuclear power in the first place.  So, now what do we do?  We go to the UN and get more resolutions.  We all saw what “resolutions” did to Hussein - Absolutley nothing.

It is therefore my suggestion that we kill one or both of these dudes (along with sizeable portions of their governments) immediately and see how reasonable their successors become.  This is half of the increditony doctrine. The other half is dealing with our allies which I will deal with in a later post.