Random Scubalon

I will blog more about this later, but read this and be thankful that you have countrymen like this man.

Well, it certainly has been a long time and I want all of you to know that I am alive and well and my new year’s resolution is to try to be a better blogger!!  The ultra powerful O/U computers have been bored in my prolonged absence, and it is time that I revved them up for a special Christmas edition of O/U.

1.  Santa Claus - Overrated.  Sad, but true.  Here’s a guy with the ability to rip through the time/space continuim at such a rate that he not only can make it to every kid on the planet in one 24 hour period but he can also simultaneoulsy appear at every mall in North America.  Now what does the jolly fat man do with this amazing technology?  He works one day a year and runs an elf sweat shop.  He tries to play on our sympathies by  the charitable stuff, but he’s gotta be raking in a fortune advertising revenues and appearance fees.  Plus, I might add that there is a perfectly good fat man in our house to get credit for my daughter’s presents.

2.  Caroling - Overrated- There once was a time when this quaint tradition was one to be appreciated.  These were before the days when one was forced on Christmas Eve to cloister oneself from the family so one can put together complicated toys with instructions written by people with only a passing relationship with the English language and diagrams drawn by what seem to be drunken monkeys.  When you are involved in this type of activity the last thing you want to hear is “Honey, come here - We’ve got carolers!”  Here’s an idea - don’t come around with your minimally-rehearsed, poorly sung versions of “We Wish You a Merry Christmas” unless you want a snootfulof “figgy pudding” flung at you at high and dangerous speeds.  Instead, bring a couple of tools, a vivid imagination to interpret diagrams, and a Taiwanese-to-English dictionary.

3.  White Christmas - Underrated - Nothing cooler.

4.  The movie “It’s a Wonderful Life” - Overrated  I know I am being tough here, but I remember when I was in high school when this movie would show 8 times a day on every cable and independent station in the world (It would be like, “MTV now will break from our normal schedule of showing over-hyped Michael Jackson videos to bring 16 hours of uninterrupted ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’, and after that… Headbanger’s ball!!).  It was at that time I swore off this movie even though it had that wonderful scene of them falling in the swimming pool at the school dance (why, oh why, couldn’t they close the floor over them and make it a horror flick?  Let’s see Clarence get his wings on that!)  So, please, keep your Jimmy Stewart, your loser suicidal angels, and most of all Zouzou’s petals.

5.  Being with your family as you read the Christmas story - Underrated- There is nothing better than getting out your Bible and remembering with those closest to you the miracle of the incarnation.  We get busy with lots of stuff and stress, but to take the time to sit and ponder what it must have been like to be those shepherds or to witness the first incredible breaths and cries of the King of Kings, or to feel the exhileration and panic of Mary and Joseph as they tried to understand how their lives had just drastically changed is an incredible time.  So, in all the busyness of friends and family, don’t forget to gather your loved ones close and worship the Lord.

Merry Christmas.