Random Scubalon

It has been such a long time since I’ve posted anything and so much interesting stuff has happened!  Since last I posted, my wife and I celebrated our 14th wedding anniversary.  I can’t believe how fortunate I was to find the woman I would love for the rest of my life when I was so young.  She really is my friend, companion, counselor, and my joy.  She is a constant encouragement and believes in me when I don’t always believe in myself.  I am glad that I have her and look forward to our life together.

Also, my daughter got baptized.  I can’t tell you how proud I was of her to overcome her nervousness because she wanted to please Jesus and obey Him.  As I see her grow up, I am also so thankful that I can see spiritual growth as well.

My mom’s side of the family also had a mini-reunion this past weekend.  It was great to see aunts, uncles, nieces, cousins, and siblings all together.  We had a spirited game of football in the side yard and played golf together on Saturday morning.  For the first time in my life I had 5 birdie putts in a round of golf.  All were very makeable although I made none of them (including the putt on #18 where I was inside of 3′!).  So my score vs. par on those 5 holes was +2.  I think I need to work on my putting.  However, the highlight of the time together came on thursday night when my unlce Frank opened the Bible and shared his heart.  My unle Frank was saved only a few years ago, and it was so touching to hear the love he had for his God!  He had a very simple and eloquent explanation of what God had done in his life and how gratful he was to Him.  Although it was not nearly as dramatic, it reminded me of my uncle Tom as he gathered his family together in his hospital room on the last full day of his life and through the pain, medication, and his imminent home-going reached out with the simple truth of God’s love.  It just strikes me how both of these men I have loved and admired both before and after their conversion to Christ tasted God’s grace later in their lives and purposed in their hearts to “finish the course”.  The next day I commented to my mom that those are the types of people that God uses to build churches.  I have always loved and respected my uncle Frank, but now I am more proud to be his nephew than ever.

That’s not nearly all of it, but that is all I have time for now.  Good news for overrated/underrated fans.  The NFL version of O/U will be coming any time now!

I have recently received two offers to join a fantasy football league.  I have never been a part of fantasy football although I hear it is lots of fun.  A lot of times the reasoning goes like this “Tony, you’ve got to play FF because it gives you a reason to watch that miserable MNF match-up between the Bears and the Packers.”  OK, here’s the thing, I don’t need a reason to watch that game, because as my wife can attest I’m going to watch it until the end because I love watching NFL football!!  To be honest I’m going to watch it even if it is a pre-season game.  However, seeing how two of my favorite guys that graduated wearing pink tassels (on their mortar boards) have asked me to join their respective leagues I am declaring myself a Fantasy Football Free Agent.   So, anybody that has a league that thinks I should join it you are free to sign me.  I need to have a compelling reason to join the ranks of the Fantasy Footballers, and I need to know why yours is the league for me (also, a signing bonus won’t hurt).  So, much like all of the Colts draft picks I am unsigned and waiting for an offer.  Training camp is right around the corner so don’t wait to long.

Because people all over the world are checking out overrated/underrated and people are begging for more I have fired up the O/U computers to weigh in again.  For those of you that are signing on from parts far-flung this is the local version of O/U, so it may not be as relevent to you as other O/U posts are, but don’t worry you will still be able to learn from it.

Daylight Savings Time - Underrated.  This is a new thing here in Indiana that we are changing time with the rest of the country, and I gotta tell you - It’s great.  More time for golf, more time for every outdoor activity after work - I love it!!  Now, here is a benefit that many Hoosier sports fans may not have thought about.  For 1/2 of the NFL season, the Colts kicked off their games at noon local time, so Colts fans who attended church were forced to miss most of the 1st quarter on their way home.  Now, they will all kick off at 1:00 pm at the earliest.  So, more golf, more soccer, more fishing, and MORE FOOTBALL!!!!

Gov. Mitch Daniels - Underrated. Here’s the situation… when “My man Mitch” came into office, the state was in the red (after previous Goveners Bayh and O’Bannon had been given a $4 billion surplus), manufacturing jobs were racing each other out of the state, and the Colts were talking about leavng.  Now, we are two years in, the state is back in black (cue AC/DC music), 3 major plants have announced they are moving here this year, and once Mitch kicked the worthless Indy mayor out of the negotiations a tremendous new stadium is going up with major expansions to the convention center, which will put Indy on great footing for years to come and keeps the Colts here in Indiana.  Now his idea of “major moves” still has the jury out, but so far it looks good. Oh, and by the way, it was his idea to put us on DST.  Even if you are a democrat you have to give it up to Mitch.

Indiana Department of Natural Resources - Underrated.  Here are the facts: 

(1) They have brought the American Bald Eagle population in Indiana back from near extinction to over 200 eagles in just 15 years.  Many of the eagles are not mature enough to mate yet, but when they are eagle sightings in Indiana will likely be a common occurance. 

 (2) State Parks are in much improved shape since the early 90’s with ample areas for hunting/boating/fishing and recreation for non-hunters (i.e. -  pot-smoking hippies). 

(3) The deer population in  this state is thriving.  I personally saw 3 TROPHY bucks this past hunting season and quite a few doe.  Hunters I’ve talked to around the state have told me the same thing.  Now before the peanut gallery starts talking about just seeing the bucks - Two of them I did not have a shot on, and I missed the third one (I’m still kicking myself about that one).  Furthermore, I plan on taking the deer population in Indiana down by at least two deer this year (one with a bow, one with a shotgun, and maybe a third with a chevy), and anyone who wants to sound-off about my hunting may wake up next to a deer head (cue Godfather music).

Indianapolis Mayor Bart Peterson - Overrated.  OK, this is the deal, as mayor your first job is to control crime, and crime is out of control.  I agree he inherited the jail overcrowding thing, but he has had 6 years to solve it and nothing has happened.  We are letting criminals out of jail because we have no room for them and we wonder why crime is on the rise?  Hey, I don’t care where you put them, but you don’t sit by while child molesters are being set free to hurt more children.  You can keep your neighborhood clean-up projects and tree planting charades and fix this problem!!  You say the city is too broke to fix it?  Well, you can get tents at Wal-mart for under $100 dollars and you have plenty of unused land at the old Central state hospital site - figure it out.

Sr. Indiana Senator Richard Lugar - Overrated.  This is all I have to say - I’m gonna have to close my nostrils with quick-dry cement to vote for this dude.  Oh, how I wish I didn’t have watch this guy sell out conservative principles for another 6 years.

Jr. Indiana Senator Evan Bayh  - Overrated.  Read the above post about squandering $4 billion dollars and watching companies pull out of here on his watch and ask yourselves if you really want this guy sitting first or second chair in the national executive branch.  The only way he and his lackey O’bannon could even come close to making budget was by not making payments to the schools that they were supposed to make (Oh, and Mitch has us so much in the black that the schools are getting this money).  Yeah, education - that’s not important.  He let the prison system swirl out of control so that in most Indiana youth centers the kids were at the mercy of really bad people (the stories are horrendous).  If you are outside of Indiana please make sure this dude doesn’t become our next president.

That’s the latest version of overrated/underrated.  Don’t forget, you can suggest topics of things you need to have rated.  Until next time, adios.

OK, it’s time that I started taking on some imortant issues in order to make it easier on our elected officials.  So, please, send this to all the elected officials you know, or for whom you have cast votes.

Here is the abstract of the Increditony Doctrine -

Evil leaders/states do not get sanctions for misbehaving or incentives to act as we want them to act.  They get bullets and missiles if they don’t behave.

Or, to put it in a sentence… it should stink to be an enemy of the United States of America, but absolutley cool to be our friend. 

Many of you may react saying that we can’t just project our military power all over the world.  That we need to engage our enemies and exhaust all diplomatic options first before we start dropping the bombs.  OK, I hear you, but this is what you don’t understand - You can’t engage evil- you can only kill evil-doers. If tin-horn dictators have nothing to fear they will continue to push the envelope of evil.  However, if they know that pushing the USA is the quickest way to sure death they will pick on someone else.  Allow me to give you two very recent case studies.  One of these shows you what happens when we act like Americans and the other shows what happens when we act like Europeans.

Case Study #1 - Iraq and Libya

The USA decides it’s time to get rid of Saddam.  We take our considerable military might to rid the world of a source of constant evil and to neuter the evil that the UN could do in the modern world.  In the meantime Qadaffi is sitting down in Libya saying, “Well, after 9/11 I expected them to go to Afghanistan, but they are serious about getting rid of the people who are causing trouble.  Hey, I’m a guy that causes trouble.  I’d rather not hide in a spider hole and then watch my sons killed and then go to trial for my crimes.  I know what - I’ll give up my WMD and WMD programs, and maybe I won’t be killed.”  You see when these jerks have reason to fear they get really reasonable.

Case study #2 - Iran and North Korea

Iran decides to hold the world hostage with its nuclear program.  Instead of going all Israeli on their backsides (remember the only reason Saddam didn’t have nukes is that Israel blew up the program) we decided to go all France on them.  That’s right we gave them incentives to not continue to go nuclear (BTW - Why does a nation that is sitting on an ocean of oil need nuclear energy?).  So, Lil’ Kim over in N. Korea actually talks to MuhIsoneedtokilledajan and he decides to fire some rockets to get people to offer him incentives too.  Of course it doesn’t help that he had already tricked Clinton/Albright et al to give him nuclear power in the first place.  So, now what do we do?  We go to the UN and get more resolutions.  We all saw what “resolutions” did to Hussein - Absolutley nothing.

It is therefore my suggestion that we kill one or both of these dudes (along with sizeable portions of their governments) immediately and see how reasonable their successors become.  This is half of the increditony doctrine. The other half is dealing with our allies which I will deal with in a later post.

I know you have been anxiously waiting for me to dust off the old overrated/underrated computer and evaluate some of the most pressing issues/personalities/trivialities of our times.  Please remember these rankings are done w/o personal bias or any animous.  They are scientifically verifiable, and you should not try them at home.  So, for now - ON WITH THE RANKINGS!

First up:

The movie Alien vs. Predator - Overrated.  When a movie basically tells you who wins in the title, it will always end up being overrated no matter how lowly it was rated to begin with.  Here’s the thing, Predator went into the jungle and fought two governors and Apollo Creed.  Now to make things worse one of those governors was Arnold, and Predator gave the former Mr. Olympia all he could handle in what was essentially a road game for the Predator (he also gets bonus points for the cool dreads).  So, what did Alien ever do?  Had its foe severly outnumbered playing only home games and gets its butt repeatedly kicked by a chick?  Please!  Pathetic.

Criminal Minds - Underrated.  This is simply the best show on television.  If you watch television and you don’t watch this show you should have your cable cancelled and broadcast channels blocked from your TV and be left to watch PBS until you learn to appreciate true entertainment.

New England Patriot quarterback Tom Brady - In what is a first in the long history of underrated/overrated we have a new designation - rated.  Mr. Brady is a truly exceptional athelete that has made spectacular plays for his team.  He should be ranked right where he is as the second best quarterback playing football today (For my friend Richard just so you know every GM in the game would take Manning over Brady just like they did in the draft).  If Brady were to retire now I know he is a first ballott HOFer and they should be dusting off a place for him in Canton right now.

Reality Television - Overrated.  Let me be honest - all reality television stinks! (Again, not my opinion, science at work here people.)  Some of you may protest that most of it stinks but that there are good shows.  You are clearly wrong.  Most of these shows have people of questionable morals competing for large amounts of cash that they haven’t worked for, all the while lying, cheating and stabbing each other in the back.  We have a name for people who do that - Congressmen.  So, I don’t care if they are surviving, Idoling, big brothering, or amazing racing (or whatever else) ~ just go away and take your smarmy, diminutive hosts with you (and please don’t run all-star or celebrity versions of your stupid shows)!

Gas Grills - Overrated.  This pains me to say this because I love the convenience of the gas grill, but stuff cooked over an open fire made up of coals, or hickory wood just tastes better.  I will continue to use gas grills, but I will know that if I worked harder I could have a better tasting steak.

Captiol City Chorus - Underrated.  Some of you think that because my wife sings in this chorus that I am just saying this to stay in her good graces.  You know, some of you are very cynical and I think you should get professional help for this problem.  The science says they are the number 10 rated female barbershop chorus in the world, and I’ve heard some of the competition . . . CCC should be ranked higher!  If you are in the Indy area I recommend you catch one of their shows!  It’s a good time!

That’s it for this episode of overrated/underrated.  Tell me what you think (not that it will matter, because the rankings cannot be questioned).

Jenny,  Abby, and I went camping this weekend with my brother David, his wife Missy, and their daughter Sarah.  Now when I say camping I mean “no phones, no lights, no motor cars, not a single luxury” kind of camping.  We cleared some land in the woods, cut up a downed tree for fire wood, and dug a hole for our ”necessary room”.  We had fun trying to figure out how to put up our new tent, but it went up w/o too much trouble and we had a great time.  We made smores, sang songs, and told stories around the camp fire.  Now when you are a member of our family there are a few things that are unique.  You see it was not enough for the uncles of my brother and me to tell us “boogey man” stories.  No, we had to have a boogey man that was dedicated to our family and wanted to kill just us.  It seems that one Hanky Pocus had a long unsettled feud with my maternal grandfather and was now reaching out from beyond the grave to settle that score.  There are a couple of advantages to having your own personal boogey man (that is if you are the one telling the story- not the poor kid listening to it).  The primary advantage is that you are not bound by geography.  That’s right - good ol’ Hanky was just as likely to kill you in your own bed as he was to get you in the woods, and if you were riding in a car with my uncle Tom on back roads at night you would swear not only did you just see him, but he was on top of the car!  So, this weekend I had the choice to let the legend die or pass him along to the next generation and scare my sweet innocent 5 year old daughter out of her wits.  I am happy to report - HANKY LIVES!!!!

As weird as it sounds Hanky Pocus has helped draw a life-long cord around my cousins and me.  Whenever we get together (which is not often enough and, sadly, mainly at funerals) talk will eventually get around to what we laughed about and cried about and were scared about.  Now I am the next to youngest of a boat load of cousins, and we always seemed to live the farthest away so I don’t have a lot of the memories they made together, but I am an equal partner in the “Hanky Pocus scared the life out of me” club.  Now, so is my daughter.  I loved being with my family this weekend, going on nature walks, and cooking around an open fire, but I also loved passing on a family tradition even as twisted as this one.  By the way - I miss my uncle Tom.

 ***Check out the female version of this trip here!!!

Not much time today,but I had to tell a story.  Was driving around with my daughter last night when we started playing a new game that she and her cousins made up.  You see, Abby is 5 years old and is always making up new games to play as we drive (among the favorites are"American Flag" and "Hiking").  This new game is based on the movie "Cars" which we just took her to see.  The rules are simple: Find a car that looks like one from the movie; yell out the character name; add that to your total of cars found.  The player with the most cars at the end of the trip wins!  Seeing how "Lightning McQueen" is the star of the movie, and Abby counts any red two-door car as a "Lightning McQueen", those are racked up rather simply.  As we drove down the road all manner of beat-up 4 cylinder pansy cars were being scored as "Lightning McQueen's", and I was trying to get Abby to understand the difference between  a sports car and, say, a red '91 Cellica.  Well, on one of our stops we walked out to the car, and parked beside us was a beautiful red sports car with very similar lines to the movie car.  So I said "Abby, now THERE is a Lightning McQueen." 

Then she said "No, Daddy, Lightning McQueen didn't have one of those black things on it."

Then I explained "Honey, that's just a leather cover for the front of the car to prevent bugs and small rocks from damaging the paint job.  It's called a bra"

To which she replied "Then doesn't that make it MRS. Lightning McQueen?"

Touche, Abby, Touche!

My good friend Richard has recommeded this blog on his blog and has posted what my wife thinks is the best picture I've ever taken.  If you are new to this blog I think it is important you know the differences between my blog and Richard's

1.  Mine's better.

2.  Richard gives thoughtful posts on relevent topics that provoke thought.  I, on the other hand, make brash statements on things only I care about that provoke outrage.

3.  Richard enjoys the dialogue that can occur after a particularly moving post and wants to hear your comments.  Me? - not so much.

4. Richard will send you a book if you answer trivia questions correctly.  Here you get nothing but heaps and heaps of scubalon (metaphorically speaking).

5.  There is one similarity between my blog and Richard's.  There are no sacred cows on either blog.  We both take grilling a good steak far to seriously to allow such a thing.

Hope you enjoy!

I don't pretend to be a parenting expert, nor do I intend on playing one on the internet.  I was just so moved by a piece I read on www.espn.com that I want to recommend it to you.  I happened upon it because I wanted to catch some World Cup scores and as the page came up I saw there was a feature article on Tony Dungy.  Of course, I am a rabid Colts fan so I read it.  It was titled Amazing Grace and was a candid and personal interview on how his faith is helping deal with the loss  of his James to suicide.  You don't have to be a football or Colts fan to be impacted by the testimony of this man.  If you have a minute read it.  Have a great Father's day.

Well, I am very excited to add this new feature.  It is called overrated/underated where I will evaluate people/sports teams/political movements/books as to whether they are over-hyped (or overrated) or under-appreciated (or underrated).  There will be no set number of items evaluated.  All decisions in this feature are final - you may disagree in the comment section, but you will be judged to be wrong.  The blogger reserves the right to change his mind on an item if public perception changes about that item, or if he is ranking them in a different category (i.e. For instance, as a war hero John Kerry is overrated, but as a medically-approved sleep aid he is severly underrated).  You may suggest items to be evaluated, but because this is such important scientific work there is no guarantee that I will even acknowledge your suggestion (but I probably will).

 So, here it goes -

       Oprah Winfrey - overrated - This may be a bit unfair as she is the most rated person in America it seems, but it just seems the few times I do see her on TV I just don't get it.  Maybe if she gave me a car I'd feel differently, but as it is… way overblown.

      MLS - (major league soccer) - underrated - Again, a bit obvious because it is hardly a blip on the radar screen, but for my money (of which I am not spending any) I would rather watch a MLS match than a regular season baseball game- the action in MLS is constant and the final score is the same.

      NASCAR - OVERRATED - those of you who know me know that I hate racing and you may think this is just prejudice on my part. Well, you're wrong.  I take these ratings far to seriously to allow myself to be swayed by my personal feelings.  All of these ratings are scientifically proveable.  Unfortunately the scientific equation is much too complicated for you to understand, so I can't share it here.

       Me as a blogger - underrated - Hey, these scientific equations don't lie.  I know this is only my third post, but I have found them all fascinating and I can't wait to see what I have to say next.

       My Wife - UNDERRATED - Some of you may think this a cheap ploy to get in my wife's good graces.  Do you ever get tired of being wrong?  We're talking science here.  Seriously, my wife wears a lot of hats: Wife, mom, employee, best friend, counselor, encourager, teacher, and lover.  She pulls off all of these with a grace that I admire and wonder at.  When I wake up in the morning and look across the bed and she is there, I know that no matter what happens this is going to be a good day.  Baby, you make me a better person.  I love you.

 There you go: my first installment of overrated/underrated.  Feel free to comment (the four of you who have ever read this blog).  I welcome your input, and I know you can't wait for the next installment where we will discuss - the movie Alien vs. Predator, the TV show Criminal Minds, and New England Patriot quarterback Tom Brady.